All you fucktards that think you're all Internet OG because you blog and troll and tweet and share. Well, fuck you. This shit was hard to build, it took decades of solitude with monochrome screens, countless gallons of Jolt, and natural need to create a meritocracy for information. Yet there's no anarchistic ethos in Facebook: the best intelligence tool the CIA ever invented. There's no benefit in having the Internet indexed by one hegemonic beast (fuck you Google). And there's no liberty in a tweet. That LOL and OMG shit came from the old habit of obfuscating your communications. Substituting numbers for vowels was a simple way of hiding traffic from sniffers looking for ASCII. It's called secure communications. Something Generation Ironic Mustache has no concept of. Not everyone needs to be an engineer. But for fuck sake, do something cool with this tool we built for you. We fucking built it so you could be free, not Friended.
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